An Unlikely Cure
I must be honest with myself. I just started a new wellness venture, and I feel quite a bit of stress. Hugely ironic. I’ve heard stories from many others, but it feels totally different when I’m the one living it. Let me say it plainly: Starting a business is stressful. Everything feels personal - my business, my time, my hopes and dreams. It feels like I'm constantly chasing after the wind, and whatever it is I'm supposed to grasp disappears as soon as I appear. Poof. Gone.
The Highs and Lows of Flying Solo
Being a sole entrepreneur means I don't have anybody but myself. I love the agency/freedom to create and build from scratch. But I also feel isolated. I wish I had partners in this work I deeply believe in - that it wasn't just me. I miss having co-workers.
I recognize my signs of stress from research I’ve read on burnout. I realize I was experiencing social disconnection.
Researchers at the University of Washington, Dr. Kira Schabram and Yu Tse Heng, describe this state as “cynical detachment”—a sense of emotional separation from the people, relationships, and work we care about. The antidote is social connection.
Circle of Trust
In the work context, this can be with people you currently work with – such as team members or even your boss. But it isn’t limited to the workplace, social connection can also come from former colleagues, business partners, clients, or friends and family who leave you feeling energized.
I spent some time thinking about my circle of trust – people I just enjoy being with, who give me joy. I reached out to a few to see if they're open to connecting and thankfully, those I asked all said yes. And for the next few months, for my tea or coffee breaks, I just intentionally interacted with people who gave me energy and were not draining to be with. With every connection, I felt the cynical detachment slowly dissipate. Like magic.
What I learned
We often talk about rest as something we do by ourselves — we even call it self-care. But if stress comes from feeling disconnected and detached, then a solo day at the spa may not be enough. In fact, it may exacerbate it.
What helped relieve my stress wasn’t being by myself, but being with trusted former colleagues, friends, and family. Connection turned out to be the unlikely cure—and for that, I am deeply grateful.
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